Chasing Lost Dreams
by Zaichik Arky
Summary: This takes place in the CT universe after ending 13 extra ending in the DS version .Magus, Lucca, and Crono all wake up with a vague recollection of the same dream they had the same night. Magus needs to understand the meaning of the dream, so they search
1. Chapter 1

**Chasing Lost Dreams**

Magus awoke uneasily from his dream. He took a look at his surroundings and noticed that everyone was asleep. Only he had been awake. He walked over to a clearing and struggled to remember what had occurred in his dream. It was Lavos. Or was it? It looked like Lavos, but yet he wasn't certain it was. It was a different color, for one, and it had a cry that was not like the Lavos he had spent his life summoning. He knew that cry in an instant. His senses picked up on someone approaching.

"Lucca," he said, with his back still turned. "What brings you awake?"

"I would as you the same." Lucca replied, not surprised she wasn't able to sneak up on him.

He turned to face her. "Did you have an uneasy sleep as well?"

"Yes… I had an unsettling dream."

"Tell me about it."

"You were there, and someone else… it might have been Chrono, and we were fighting Lavos… but it wasn't Lavos."

Magus gave a look of disbelief. "His cry was different…"

"Yes!" Lucca exclaimed. "You had the same dream too?"

"Yes. It must mean something. I must find out. Somehow, I think that whatever this dream was about, affects me in a profound way. "

"Do you think something happened at another time?"

"I think that this occurred in a place where time does not flow as it normally does… then again, it has never flowed normally for us."

"Do you think you will be able to find what you are looking for?"

"Maybe. But I know I must search for the answer."

"Let's go back to sleep, Magus. We can ask the others if they had the same dream in the morning."

Lucca and Magus headed back to the group, in the clearing at Fiona's wood.

Lucca was able to change the course of time, and everyone was even able to bring Crono back to life, Magus thought to himself. Then why was he the only one who wasn't able to bring his loved one back? No matter what he tried, no matter how strong he had become, the flow of time would not bend for him. He would not give up though. _Schala, I won't give up for you…. I can't._ He went back into an uneasy sleep.

********************************************************

The next morning, Magus interrogated Crono about what he had dreamt the night before.

"Well I don't know, Magus." Crono replied. "I don't usually remember my dreams… though I did have one last night, it's all kind of vague."

"Try." Magus commanded. He did not want to feed Crono the answers so he could get a false sense of importance. He was too careful for that.

"Well I know that you were in a battle. I guess I was there. This thing, it had a very eerie cry. Like it was Lavos, but it wasn't. It was something else."

"That's all I need."

"Wow, Magus." Lucca commented. "We asked everyone, and you, me, and Crono all had the same dream last night. I asked everyone else and other than a dream about 'kicking reptite butt' and another about 'eating an entire room filled with crepes', no one had dreamt anything like the three of us."

"I think the meaning is clear, so far. You, Crono, and I were involved in some kind of battle. For some reason, the outcome of the battle lead us to our memories being erased, but the work wasn't done fully. Whether it be because of the lack of ability of the mage, or circumstances, I don't know. But I must find the answer. I must find out what transpired in this battle."

"Magus." Lucca said gently, "What if the answer is something that you don't want to have."

"I fear it may be. But I cannot rest until I find this answer."

"If it's so important to you, I will help you. I don't want you to feel like you are alone."

"Maybe it is better not to be involved with my affairs. All of my life I have just used others to get what I want. I am meant to be alone."

"You wouldn't be using me, I am enlisting myself to help you. And Crono too. Besides, since the three of us had the same dream, I think it's necessary that the three of us find out what happened."

"Then I won't stop you." Magus replied, looking at her. "We must as the old man of time where to go next. Crono, you and I will make up the party to search out the answer."

Lucca followed Magus to the end of time. She somehow knew right away, and wasn't sure if he knew, whatever the answer was, would hurt him a great deal, somehow. She was scared to go ahead with the mission, but she knew she had to be there for him. She was the only one who cared enough, and without her, he could not succeed.

**********************************************************************

The entire group headed to the end of time separately. Lucca, Crono, and Magus took the Epoch while the rest took gates. Magus wasted no time asking Gasper how to find what he was looking for.

"So you want to get your memories back, eh. Well I can't say that it is as impossible as reviving the dead, but what do I know. The answer you seek lies in your time period, mage. Though be careful not to look where it is obvious. Sometimes time flows in indirect paths, as does magic."

Lucca glanced at Magus to gauge his reaction. She knew it would be difficult to go back to his time period. While everything had been destroyed with the fall of the Ocean Palace, she knew that 12,000 BC brought back memories for him that he had always struggled with.

"Then we will go back to 12,000 BC," he said calmly. "It should not be so difficult. Everyone just lives on one small piece of land. One of those people must have our answer."

Crono started up the Epoch as Lucca and Magus got on. He set the time gage for 12,000 BC. "Somehow, I think that this won't be so easy. Whoever is responsible for this wants us to try a bit." Crono said.

Magus didn't reply, though he didn't want to think about it, he knew Crono was probably right.

When they arrived at 12,000 BC, a villager immediately told them that "A strange distortion loomed over the horizon. "The rest of the villagers are scared of it and won't approach.

"It must be a time gate!" Crono exclaimed."Let's check it out."

Magus and Lucca followed Crono to the time gate the villager mentioned.

"There is something unusual about this time gate." Magus said, when the three of them surrounded the new time gate in a small wood near the ocean.

"It's a different color" Crono remarked. The time gate had an eerie shade of violet as opposed to the regular blue they were used to.

"There is a different energy from it too…" Magus said quietly.

"Are you uncomfortable about going in?" Lucca asked.

"Yes, I am… I am uncertain where this gate will lead us, but I am certain that it is the direction where we will find the answer to our predicament. Let's enter."

The three of them entered the gate. They stepped out to find themselves in a cave with the icy wind blowing.

"We're still in 12,000 BC." Magus stated. "Though this is sometime before the fall of Mt. Woe. Why did it take us here?"

Lucca and Crono headed to the entrance by the cave. Sure enough, they saw a Light Gate over the horizon. "I guess that's where we go next," Lucca said. "though I forgot how cold it was here…"

Magus handed her his cape. "You can use this for now."

"Thank you…" She looked down, suddenly shy of the offer. She wrapped herself around it and headed outside. "Let's go, guys." She called Crono and Magus.

The three of them took the skyway and immediately arrived in a warmer climate.

"We will start with Enhansa." Magus commanded. "We will seek out Masa and Mune. They will know where to go, even if the answer is a riddle. They will not tell us directly."

"Sleeping is wonderful," an Enhansan sighed as she greeted them at the front door.

"We get that." Crono said. "Don't you think you guys tend to sleep too much and miss what's going on the outside?"

"What's there to miss in the tangible world when the dream world is limitless?" She asked.

"Don't bother." Magus told Crono. "The people of the kindom of Zeal live in the sky and their heads are up in the clouds. There are only a select few who understand what life really is. They are sheltered and they don't care about the real world. Those that manage to survive the fall of Zeal are in for a rude awakening that they deserve."

"Maybe they should be prepared…

"They would never believe you. Their life is a dream in of itself. They are stupid and conditioned to be this way. Let's continue onward to find the two riddlers. Let's hope they will not annoy me too much."

Lucca found one of the two brothers overlooking a sleeping Enhansan.

"Masa?" She asked.

"Nope! I'm Mune."

"Don't believe his lies, he's Masa" Magus approached.

"How do you know?"

"It's easy to tell you two apart. You are the older one. Where is the other twin?"

"It's not easy for most, only those who seek our knowledge."

Mune appeared from the air next to Masa. "You want to ask us something."

"Yes." Magus answered. Old man Gasper told us of a person here in Zeal who can bring back lost memories."

"Zeal, eh." Mune replied.

"You search in the wrong place!" Masa exclaimed. "Do you think the people of Enhansa have this ability? How could they bring back memories when they don't understand what it means to live. They are not who you seek."

"Then Kajar?" Magus asked.

"The answer should be clear to you. Ignore proper conventions. It will lead you astray." With that, the two disappeared.

"What does that mean?" Crono asked.

"Those two constantly speak in riddles. We must try Kajar next. The Nu at Kajar may have our next clue."

As they headed up the land bridge, Lucca couldn't help thinking that they were looking at this in the wrong way. Both Gaspar and Masa and Mune had told them not to look in the obvious places. But where was an unobvious place to search? She didn't bring up the issue with Magus yet because she didn't know herself where this was.

Magus set of the books in the sequence of the elements and opened the secret passage. Crono and Lucca were surprised to find a Nu inside.

"Nu, tell us of the person who can find lost memories."

"This person is here, but not in the sense you think." The Nu replied, mysteriously.

"So all you will tell us is that we are again looking in the wrong place?"

"Why ask me questions to which the answer you already know? Now, please let me go back to sleep." The Nu closed its eyes.

The three of them headed outside to think. Crono sat in the grass while Magus slowly paced nearby.

"Well I'm really stumped, are you Lucca?" Crono asked.

"What is a place here that none of us would think to look, Crono?" Suddenly, the answer blazingly appeared.

"Magus, I got it!" Lucca ran to him. "Listen. The person is not from the kingdom of Zeal. They are in the Earthbound village. It's obvious if you think about it?"

"Those people? What can they do?" Magus scoffed. "They are dirty and know nothing about magic"

"Don't be judgmental, Magus. Schala believes in them and soon enough, everyone in the world will be the same. Besides, we don't need them to know magic, there are other powers in this world that are not magical."

"I think you're dead-on, Lucca!" Crono praised. "Let's go, Magus. I know your answer is there."

"Maybe you're right. We will go see." Magus followed Crono and Lucca to the skyway.

The three of them soon arrived at the Terra village.

"Welcome, outsiders." One of the village elders greeted warmly. "What brings you to our humble abode?"

"We are seeking a special person. They live here."

"Oh? Well us Earthbound folk are not known as being special. But maybe I could later help you find the person you're looking for. For now, how about I introduce you to our other guest. She has been coming down to visit us for many years, who knows why. But maybe she can help you too."

The villager lead them to another room where a familiar figure smiled at a child as she gently tossed a ball to him. She turned around as the group approached. Magus stopped in his tracks.

"Schala." He gasped.


	2. Chapter 2

The blue-haired girl turned to face them. "Hello. I'm Schala. What brings you to the Terra village?

"Uh, we're looking for someone." Crono replied, when Magus wouldn't speak.

"Are you now." Schala said, coming closer. She focused on Magus. "You remind me of someone."

"I don't think we've ever met." Magus mumbled, looking at the ground.

"Perhaps…" She stared at him for few more seconds as he shifted, uncomfortably. She then turned to Crono. "Are you the leader of this small party?"

Crono thought it would be best not to reveal that Magus was the leader. "Yes, I'm Crono."

"I'm Lucca". After Magus said nothing, she nudged him.

"I'm Magus." He said, after a moment.

"Magus…" Schala repeated. "It is nice to meet all of you. I come from Zeal where most of the people wouldn't condescend themselves to come down here. But they all live in a dream world and only a few can take the reality of things, like these villagers. That is why I visit them. I need to get away from a fake life with people who are delusional and visit with people who are more like me than my own people."

"Schala, you compliment us too much, we are not enlightened and we live destitute in underground caves."

"You are enlightened, it is us who are not. You will see. Things will not always be like they are now… very soon, I would say." She closed her eyes. "Anyway," she said, turning back to Crono. "Who is it that you seek?"

"We were told, somewhat indirectly that there is a person here who can bring back lost memories. Finding this person is somewhat important to us, so we would like to know who it is." Crono replied.

Schala turned away. "I know of whom you speak, but they are elusive. They do not willingly give away their services unless they understand what they give will be used for good."

"Can you take us to them?" Magus asked. "And let them decide?"

Schala turned around and stared at Magus for a moment. "Like I said, they are elusive. But they are watching… they need some time to watch you and decide."

"Watching us?" Lucca repeated. "Are you sure? It's just the 5 of us here…"

Schala smiled. "They're a little mysterious, but worry not. Their heart is in the right place. It's just that… giving someone the power to retrieve lost memories is not something that should be taken lightly. The memories were lost for a reason. To retrieve them means to bring back the forces that wanted these memories to become lost. It may be overbearing for you. So the memory-finder will watch you and then see if they agree to undertake the endeavor."

Magus sighed. "Then I guess we have no choice but to wait and see if we are worthy."

"It's not being worthy, lost memories are usually painful, and for at least one of you, it will hurt."

"We're prepared for that." Magus said, determinedly.

"But you will still have to wait. Schala walked towards the door. Yurok will help get you situated. I must now visit with other villagers."

"Thank you, Schala." Lucca said.

Schala nodded and took her leave.

"So if Schala doesn't know who we are, what year is this anyway?" Crono whispered to Lucca.

"Well she doesn't look so much younger, it shouldn't be so long before we met her."

"It's about a year before you met her." Magus replied, then headed outside.

"He must be annoyed, to wait here." Crono told Lucca.

"I think he's getting impatient. Whatever the meaning of this dream is, it's too important to him. I worry that the answer won't be positive at all."

"I guess just knowing what it is matters more to him. I'm not sure how I would feel if I were in his situation."

"It's getting dark outside. I'm going to do some astronomy charts, so you can hang out with the villagers, ok?"

"Sure. Have fun Lucca." Crono waved to her and talked to Yurok about the village and where they would be sleeping.

Lucca took out her star charts of 12,000 BC and began to guess the day according to the stars. She looked at the Moon. "Waning Crescent with the hydroglophies in the eastern hemisphere…" She did some calculations until she found that the day was the 134th in 11,999 BC. Just like Magus said. About a year before we got there. She continued charting the anomalies until Magus snuck up behind her.

"Still graphing the night sky?" He asked. "I thought you learned that stars tend not to change through time."

"Oh Magus." She said, a little startled. "Well that's generally true. Just Ayla's time period was more interesting for the astronomer, but for millennial time-frames, there are subtle differences. For example… there." She pointed up towards a bright object in the western hemisphere.

"Magus looked up to where she was pointing. Oh, the tear of the maiden?"

"Is that what you call it here? Well we call it Massier 248, but it's a star is going super nova during your time period and it's quite amazing. And there." She pointed to another location. "It's faint, but it's more faint in 1000 AD. It's from a star that had gone supernova several millennia ago and now the dust is receding… the time it takes for the dust to recede can be millennia… or more."

Magus smiled. "That dust is actually is another story about a maiden. It's actually my favorite…" He paused.

"I'd like to hear it." Lucca gently encouraged.

"Ok. I will tell you. Magus sat down next to her on a rock. This king had lost his wife and had two daughters. He loved his elder daughter more, because she reminded him of his wife and didn't pay much attention to his younger daughter. The elder daughter had very long hair, that she always kept long and flowing. Her father loved her hair because it reminded him of his wife as well and whenever he saw this daughter, he would smile. Now, the older daughter was married off when she was 18, despite her father not wanting to her to leave and she told her younger sister the following: 'Don't allow father to control how you wear your hair. The man who will love you will not see you as a resemblance to anyone else.' After she left, however, the father missed his elder daughter and just could not make a connection with his younger daughter, so he ordered her to grow her hair out.

3 years passed and the younger daughter was now 18. Her hair was almost as long as her sister's had been. Sometimes she would sneak out of the castle to visit with the neighboring villages where she met this master craftsman and his apprentice. The apprentice's abilities were overcoming his master's and soon he would be off on his own. She had gotten to know the apprentice and was in love with him, but when she saw him, her hair was tied back so he didn't know how long it was. One day he came to the king to deliver new furniture when he met her. He told her that she reminded him of someone he loved, though she had short hair. After he left, the daughter cried and cut off all her hair, told her father she was getting married, and ran to meet her apprentice. He told her that he loved her and could not believe she was a princess. She would no longer be royalty, but he always treated her like a princess regardless… and I guess that's the end."

Lucca smiled and clapped. "That was a very sweet story."

"That 'super nova dust' is the princess's hair after she cut it all off."

"Wow." Lucca said, gazing up at the constellation. "Did Schala tell you that story?"

"No…" Magus paused. "My mother did. I remember hearing it from her for the first time when I was very young… it was probably my first memory."

"I see… I'm glad you have a good memory of your mother."

"Yes, I'm glad of that."

"Magus… " Lucca began. "The 'memory-finder', as Schala calls them, do you think you will pass their test and they will help you?"

"Maybe. But if not, I will learn who they are. This is a small village."

"Aren't you afraid of what Schala said? That the memory will hurt you?"

"I'm not afraid."

"Aren't you afraid of being hurt?"

"No."

They sat quietly for a minute. "Are you afraid of anything?"

" I'm afraid of being powerless. Powerless to do anything, Like I have been all these years. Every time I come across Lavos, I am more and more powerless. I don't know what this memory will reveal to me, but whatever it is, I am afraid it will just make me more powerless until I can't do anything anymore."

"Magus, I think you feel powerless because you have been alone for all these years. You know how to manipulate people, but you can't manipulate people to like you or to even understand you."

"I don't want that."

"You say that, but do you really mean it?"

"People can do nothing for me anymore…"

"Then why do you cling onto the hope of rescuing Schal?. It's all that you have ever been aiming for, when you take away the whole Lavos matter. Schala died because of Lavos. You don't want to destroy Lavos, you want to save Schala."

Magus didn't reply.

"You want Schala to be there for you, but you won't even see her. Why? If you love her so much that you would risk your life for her, why don't you face her now?"

"Enough." Magus stood up. "You think you have me figured out."

"I do." Lucca proclaimed.

"You don't understand…."

Lucca stood up too and faced him. "What don't I understand? If I don't understand something clearly, why don't you tell me?"

Magus said nothing at first and looked to the side. "Schala was the only person who ever loved me. I lost her when I was a young child and then had to deal with the Mystics. I never forgot her. Her love is what kept me hanging on all these years. Even though I wouldn't say I had a happy childhood, Schala was with me and at least I felt safe when I was with her. Why can't I try to find that feeling again?"

"Because there are other ways to find that feeling rather than trying to revive someone dead… I know that we succeed with Crono, but think what would happen if you had managed to take Schala away. Lavos would have destroyed the world at that time. She saved the world. How can you justify that?"

"There are other ways."

"What other ways?"

"I haven't figured that out yet…"

"Because there are no other ways, Magus. At that point in time, only Schala was powerful enough to stop Lavos. You can't change history in such profound ways. Right now, what you can do is help us change the future. You Must understand the importance of stopping Lavos with us."

"If there is any way to save Schala, I will never turn away. You understood that with Crono, why can't you understand that with me?"

Lucca sighed. "I'm glad you listened to nothing I've said." She turned away. "Good night, Magus."

Magus let her go. He was listening, but he just didn't want to hear the truth. She was probably right, it would be impossible to save Schala, but still he didn't want to know that. He would do anything to save her.

******************************************************************

Lucca went inside and asked Crono about where to sleep.

"Just pick any bed. I guess this functions as their guest room. It's nice of them to let us use it."

"Yeah."

"Are you ok, Lucca?" Crono asked gently, noticing she looked down. "Did Magus say something to you?"

"Not really… it's just that he refuses to face reality and I really struggle with that. I guess he really does belong in the kingdom of Zeal."

"Heh… out of all of us, you are the only one who really want to understand him. He struggles with any personal relationship, though, so why are you trying so hard?"

"Well other than Frog, I'm the only one who kind of understands what he went through. I blamed myself for what happened to my mother too, and even though his situation is a lot worse, he doesn't understand how to interact like a normal person because he spent most of his lives with Mystics. I understand his feelings about Schala, but I think he knows he can't save her and he refuses to acknowledge it."

"So you also think this memory we're trying to find has to do with him trying to save her?"

"Yes, and him failing again. He said that failing all these times makes him feel powerless and it's the only thing he's afraid of in this world."

"Why don't you let him know that it's ok to feel powerless sometimes?"

"I haven't directly said so, but I don't think he agrees with much I tell him."

"Keep trying, Lucca. He may not ever say so, but he needs you."

"Thanks, Crono."

He hugged her. "I know that since Marle came around, you and I haven't gotten to talk much, but I just wanted you to know that I'm still your friend and you don't always have to talk to a robot if you need someone to talk to."

She laughed. "Ok, I'll keep that in mind."

Crono smiled. "Good. Let's go to bed. It's getting a little late. Magus will come in later. I don't see him wanting to spend the night in the blizzard out there."

"Ok." Lucca and Crono crawled into bed. Even with Crono's words of encouragement, Lucca still felt ill at ease. She wanted to wait for him to get back to apologize for her words, which she felt might have been too harsh. She waited an hour before he returned to go to bed for the night. She waited for him to approach his bed before she sat up.

"Magus, can I just tell you something?

Even though she couldn't see it in the dark, he slightly smiled. "Something? It sounds like you've told me many things tonight."

"I'm sorry…" She said, looking down.

"It's fine. Tell me your 'something'."

"I just wanted to say that. I'm sorry for saying hurtful things to you."

"You didn't say anything to hurt me."

Lucca sighed. "Ok, nevermind. Good night, Magus." She laid back down.

"What is it now? I told you that you didn't hurt me. Why are you angry at that?"

"Never mind." She repeated, not wanting to get into another argument.

"Just tell me."

She sat up again and looked at him. "I just don't understand why you are always trying to deny being human. You just contradict yourself all the time. You say you don't want any interactions with people, yet your life motive is to save one person. You say that you don't get hurt when I see it all over your expression when faced with the facts… I'm sorry, Magus. Maybe I'm trying too hard. I don't fully understand why I am, I just feel like I need to, and you make it too draining on me."

He didn't reply because he didn't really know how to answer that. Why was she trying to understand him. Did he really not want that? No one had ever expressed interest in him in that way before. He was confused.

"Lucca…" He finally said, softly. "I'm trying too, even if you don't see it. Just joining your group is so difficult for me. Please don't give up." He wasn't sure if she heard him, but he wanted to say it anyway. He closed his eyes.

She did hear him. "Thank you." She said, even softer. "I won't give up."

They were both ready to fall asleep at that point.

Authors note:

The first chapter was a little slow, and this chapter is more like relationship-emo things. I dunno. I like this chapter better. The next chapter may or may not be the last one.


	3. Chapter 3

Lucca watched Schala playing with the Earthbound children. Schala seemed very at-ease with children. She was not like the Schala Lucca remembered at Zeal Palace, a young woman whose responsibility for the fate of the planet really bore down on her. She understood why Schala enjoyed being here. The children, even though having next to nothing, were happy with what they had. Their joy radiated to Schala, who had everything yet was very unhappy.

"Hello, Schala." Lucca said, coming in.

"Hello, Lucca." Schala said, warmly.

The children stared at her and backed up. Some hid behind Schala.

"It's alright, children." Schala said. "Lucca is nice. She is here for… important reasons," she said vaguely.

The children slowly left the room, still eyeing Lucca.

"Sorry to bother you, Schala." Lucca started.

"You are no bother at all."

Schala's warm smile put Lucca at ease. "I guess you've figured out that we're here because one of us has something important they want to ask you…"

"Yes…" Schala said. "But will they ask me?"

"Yeah, that's the problem." Lucca sighed.

"I can understand fear. Your friend Magus, he fears me."

"I'm not really sure how to explain, Schala. Maybe it's not you he fears."

"You're right, maybe it's just what I symbolize, or what I can tell him. Maybe he fears the answer he will receive from me will hurt him."

"Schala, deep down, he knows the answer. He's just afraid to ask you to reaffirm it."

"I see the worry in your eyes, Lucca. You care about Magus a lot, don't you? Even I can't really understand why."

Lucca looked down. "Well that makes the two of us. I don't know why either." She paused. "I guess it's not so difficult. When we first met Magus, he was a really evil person. He was responsible for killing many people. Then some… uh… events happened and he joined us. Because of his help, we were able to save Crono's life."

"And so you are grateful to him?"

"It's more than that." Lucca walked slowly to the cave door, as if afraid Magus was around the corner. "I don't get why Magus decided to stay with us after we saved Crono. He could have gone, but the events that we took part him left him kind of empty… I can't really explain in as much detail, but he strived for something and he failed, so he's kind of… I guess he doesn't know what to do anymore, so he's decided to stick around."

"And your opinion of him has changed?"

"When I met him, I thought he was the most despicable person I've ever met, but after he stayed with us for a while, I came to realize that he is someone who is just hurting and because of certain circumstances, he can't really get better. All he wanted to do his entire life is to get back to the time in his life where he was happy, and he failed to achieve this, so he's just clueless right now."

"So you want to help him?"

"Yeah, but he doesn't want to be helped, so I'm honestly not sure why I bother most of the time."

"But sometimes…?"

Lucca looked at Schala. "Almost every day, he tells me something really random. It could have to do with a story from his past, his views on the world, or something he hates… but he tells me these things and I wonder why he wants to share these things with me. Does he want me to get to know him? Does he want to be my friend? But then later on, he's cold again."

"Maybe he's just scared."

"I'm not scary."

Schala smiled. "You know what I mean."

"Yeah, I do… you mean that he is scared he's getting close to me."

"It seems like Magus is a person who doesn't want to make bonds with anyone. But he's slowly making a bond with you. That scares him."

"It's not so bad to make a personal bond… but I guess I wouldn't understand because it's not like I kept myself from making any friends my entire life."

"Is that what draws you to him?"

"That he's cold and seems to hate life?" Lucca laughed. "Maybe. Maybe I just have a problem. Ever since I was little, I looked at life's problems as something I can fix. People are not always so different. If Crono got hurt, I cheered him up, but that was easy. Magus is not Crono. Magus is in a perpetual mode of pain and suffering, it seems… But sometimes for a split second, it feels like he wants to make progress. I don't know, I've been rambling… I'm sorry."

Schala smiled. "I understand. I understand your situation better now. If you are coming to me for advice, I don't think you need me to iterate what you already know. Magus needs you, and in some way, you need him too. He doesn't want you to give up on him. If you keep trying, it will pay off sometime… soon, I know, and you will never regret it."

"Yeah, Schala. I guess I did know that." Lucca smiled. "Thank you. I'll try to convince him to talk to you."

"You're welcome."

Lucca smiled, and left Schala in her cave. She had to get Magus to face his fear, once and for all.

***********************************************************

Luca found Magus at the same spot, staring at the stars.

"Hi." She said gently.

"Hi." He looked down at her.

"Um… I talked to Schala."

"Oh? What about?"

"You."

"What?" For a second, his face expressed complete panic.

"Don't worry, I didn't reveal any of your secrets. I didn't even tell her one thing she didn't already figure out on her own. She obviously knows that we're here because you need to ask her something, and she's wondering why you won't talk to her."

"Well you didn't have to confirm it." He muttered.

Lucca sighed. "Just talk to her already."

"It's not that easy."

"Maybe, but you can't just sit around here worrying about how to do it. She's your family, you love her."

"Maybe that's why it's so difficult."

"No, it's just too easy… that's the problem." Lucca stepped towards him, inches away. "Do it, Magus. You must. Do it because you need closure in your life. You never got a chance to say goodbye to her. You have the chance now. Don't blow it. You can't do that to someone you love."

Lucca then turned and left, leaving Magus to finally decide upon listening to her. After 10 minutes of thinking about what to say, he calmly walked up to Schala's cave.

"Oh, hello." Schala smiled. "I was hoping you'd come in to visit me."

"Yeah…" Magus said. Then his mind went blank. Despite the mental preparation now that he was in a room alone with her he had no idea what to say, how to say it, or how to even move. He had the sudden feeling like he wanted to cast a spell so he would disappear.

"You seem uncomfortable…" Schala said, her gaze not leaving his.

"I'm… sorry." He looked down.

Schala slowly walked to him. "Janus, since when are you afraid of me?"

"What?" He stared at her. "How did… what?" He started to panic. "Who told you?"

"No one of course. Why would you think I couldn't recognize my own little brother… though I do agree it's odd. I don't have a little brother right now… he changed to my older brother."

"Yeah… some things happened."

"Janus, I know you're reluctant to tell me about your life and the things you've done, but I assume you're here to save me from some terrible fate." She continued when he said nothing. "But you already know… you can't. Whatever this terrible fate is, I have accepted it years ago. I will die and you will survive."

"It doesn't have to be that way, Schala!" He blurted.

She turned away from him. " In your heart, you know that it does, Janus." She turned around. "I know you've been alone, but I'm not the answer to that. I haven't been for many year in your life… I'm sorry. I've told you countless times that in a perfect world, you and I could be together forever, but fate has made my life be sacrificed for some greater good that I don't even fully understand yet."

"I still don't accept it."

"I know… which is why you're here. It looks like whatever you did allows you to bend the flow of time. You are very powerful, but sometimes changing time cannot be the answer to your problems. Sometimes events are so interconnected that one alteration, and everything you love is destroyed."

"All my life I have tried to save you, Schala. I tried and I failed, and Crono died and we saved him. Why can't I save you, Schala?" He turned around. He was afraid to continue.

"You can't save me, and I'm sorry… but you have the chance to say goodbye finally. You are very lucky." She approached him and touched his shoulder.

He sighed. "It's what Lucca said."

"She's right."

"I know." He turned around. "I miss you Schala, I miss you every day I'm alive."

"Janus…" She pulled him into her arms and held him close. Even though she no longer could pick him up, it was the same as he'd always remembered. She finally let go of him, wiping the start of tears from his cheeks. "I don't have so much time, so you're going to have to tell me everything. Sit down." She took his hand and they sat on the earth.

"I don't think you want to hear about it, Schala. I was a very bad man, I killed a lot of people and I didn't even care about it. You would be mortified."

"Janus, I love you. I always have and I always will. No matter what you have done in the past, I will understand and the only thing I care about is what your future will become."

He sighed. " Ok, I guess I'll just start with meeting Ozzie…"

He talked and she listened patiently for two hours. When he talked about what he did to Frog and Cyrus, she didn't frown. When he talked about the countless lives he was responsible for, she didn't grimace.

"It sounds like you have had a… very interesting life." She smiled, after he'd finished. "You could just write a novel about it."

He smiled. "I know you care about my future, but my whole past was obsessed about brining you back and the events that lead up to it. Right now, I am with the rest of those guys because some things are… unfinished. I am not sure what the outcome will be."

"You will succeed."

"I don't know, I failed at saving you."

"Because you could not change destiny, but what you will encounter is the future of our world. It is not destiny, you can change the future, you are no longer alone."

"I still wish that you could see the world in the future. If we save it, I wish you could see that too."

"I'm not meant to." She took Magus's hand and squeezed it. "I'm sure it will be a wonderful place."

"I hope so…"

The sat quietly for several minutes until Schala finally stood up. "I'm sorry, Janus, but I have to go now. The longer I am down here, the more the possibility rises that mother will find out…"

"Screw mother." He said angrily.

"I know you hate her, and perhaps I can't blame you, but it's not entirely her fault. She's not strong like you and I… she is weak and she is under control of the mammon machine…"

"You used to tell me that all the time…"

Schala looked at him. "I'm happy that we were able to talk. I know the future is in capable hands. You will be alright, Janus… just." She paused.

"Yeah?"

"Don't run away from your feelings. If you feel pain, just experience it… stop running."

He smiled wryly. "It's the thing I was programmed to do."

"Well you're going to have to unprogram yourself... because it is detrimental."

"Your friend, Lucca, want to be your friend. She is worried about you."

He looked away. "I'm not very nice to her, I don't know why she feels that way."

"She sees in you what I do."

"Which is?"

"A young boy who has been hurting, yet still wants someone to be there for him. She wants to be there for you, so let her."

He blushed a little. "Maybe…"

She hugged him for the last time. "That's all I can really say to you. Goodbye, and I don't even need to tell you, but I will for the last time. I love you and take care of the world. I know you will look after it…"

"I love you too, goodbye Schala."

She gazed at him one last time before leaving him for the last time in his life. It only took five minutes for the tears to start on both sides.

*********************************************************************

In the middle of the night, Crono gently woke Lucca up from a generally unsettling sleep. He sat at her bedside and nudged her away.

"Hey Lucca, wake up…"

She opened her eyes and sat up in bed. "Crono?" She said, sleepily. "What's wrong?"

" It's Magus", he said, in a concerned tone. "I somehow woke up to listen to him get dressed and leave. I think he wants to run away."

"Oh no!" She was fully awake now. She put on her glasses. "I will go after him… he's making a mistake."

"I know you think he doesn't listen to you, but right now, he will because you're the only one who can stop him." He then hugged Lucca tight. "Good luck. He shouldn't have gone far."

She hugged back. "Thank you, Crono." She then quickly put on her clothes and ran to catch up with him.

************************************************************************

Magus closed his eyes and paused for a moment at the entrance of Terracave

_It seems no one can help me now  
I'm in too deep  
There's no way out  
This time I have really led myself astray_

_I can't face them. I'm too much of a mess. How can I fight Lavos again if I can't even fight my self demons. _"I need to give up and be alone again." He said out loud.

_Runaway train never going back  
Wrong way on a one way track  
Seems like I should be getting somewhere  
Somehow I'm neither here nor there _

He was only able to take one more step when someone called his name.

"Magus! Wait…" Lucca ran to him and stopped about 10 feet away. "Where are you going?"

_Call you up in the middle of the night  
Like a firefly without a light  
You were there like a slow torch burning  
I was a key that could use a little turning_

He turned around. He had to at least face her. "I can't deal with this, Lucca. I can't deal with people, I can't even deal with myself. I need to be alone in this world. It is my fate."

_I can go where no one else can go  
I know what no one else knows  
Here I am just drownin' in the rain  
With a ticket for a runaway train_

"Stop it." She said, angrily. "You are _not_ alone. I came to stop you."

_Everything is cut and dry  
Day and night, earth and sky  
Somehow I just don't believe it_

"Lucca, I know you want to help me, but how can you when I can't even help myself?"

_Can you help me remember how to smile  
Make it somehow all seem worthwhile  
How on earth did I get so jaded  
Life's mystery seems so faded_

"I can help you, Magus." She took a couple steps forward. "I understand what you're going through. How you blame yourself. But you could at least say good bye this time. That means something, doesn't it? You could finally say goodbye."

He looked away. " I just don't understand everything that went wrong with my life. I am the most powerful sorcerer anyone has ever come across. But it all means nothing."

_Bought a ticket for a runaway train  
Like a madman laughin' at the rain  
Little out of touch, little insane  
Just easier than dealing with the pain_

"I know you don't want to deal with the pain, but you have to, you cannot devoid yourself of your own emotions. If you leave now, you may never again have the chance to try to be human again. Don't you understand?" Her voice broke

_Runaway train never comin' back  
Runaway train tearin' up the track  
Runaway train burnin' in my veins  
Runaway but it always seems the same_

He made eye contact with her. He had to. He knew if he wouldn't, he would never again connect with anyone again and he had to take the chance.

"I can help you. I want to help you." She said, crying. "If you leave, I can't.. I can't help you. I told you I wouldn't give up on you. The only way I could is if you ran away from me. So please don't, please don't run away." She stood there, crying. She couldn't say anything more.

_So tired that I couldn't even sleep  
So many secrets I couldn't keep  
Promised myself I wouldn't weep  
One more promise I couldn't keep_

He never stopped looking at her until the tears that had been locked away for so many years began spilling out. He didn't have to say anything to her, it was all the same. _I won't leave you._

With a sob, she ran to him and clutched on. _Thank you…_

They both collapsed on the ground. They wouldn't let go of each other. They finally were as one, as she held him through all the pain. She had to keep holding him, he wouldn't have made it without her. She knew that he had 20 years of pain to let go and she would never let go. She kept holding him when her tears were starting to fade, but his were still strong.

"This… this is good." She said, gently. "I will never let you go."

She said no more for the next 15 minutes as he kept crying. She just kept holding on because she knew that was all that he needed. He had needed it for 20 years and it came just in time.

****************************************************

Crono turned around from his hiding spot near the two of them, guilty for spying, but pleased to know that Lucca was alright, and Magus finally was going to turn out fine. He turned around and gasped when he noticed Schala standing behind him.

"How long have you been there?" He asked.

She smiled. "Long enough. You are a good friend, Crono."

"I just needed to know that she was going to be ok."

Schala looked at the two of them. She smiled, but there was something remorseful about her expression. She knew this would be the last time that she would ever see her brother and at least it would be at a such a pivotal moment in his life.

She touched Crono's shoulder. "Let's give them some privacy now. I can talk to you for a little while in your room."

They headed in there. "It must be hard for you." Crono said, having to say goodbye to your brother like that.

"It was much worse for him. At least I will get to be with him for a year. He will be there, waiting for me when I get home. I can still hold him. But… he will be ok now. I love Janus, but Lucca's love means so much more than mine ever could. He understands that now."

Crono turned around. "I have to admit to you. I never saw Magus as anything but a ruthless warrior… someone who didn't understand pain, or love. To me, he was more of a robot than Robo."

"That's understandable. Janus always tried to hide it whenever he felt ill at ease. I think that whatever happened to him in the last 20 years made it worse." She sighed. "I would never have wanted that for him, to know that no one in the world cared for him after he was taken from me. But he can finally begin to heal now."

"Even though I feel bad about spying, at least I now understand he feels pain too, even if he hides it. He has more pain than any of us."

"He does, and only right now could he let go of it. Your friend is very special, Crono."

"She is. Magus said that she likes to 'fix things' and that's why she is so interested in him, but I think it's more than that. She always has a strange way of looking at things. I think she's fallen in love with an evil sorcerer… who somehow isn't evil."

Schala laughed a little. "I am indebted to Lucca… Someday soon, when the time is right, please tell her to take care of Janus. Please tell her how thankful I am that she was able to save him. Janus means the world to me. I can now be at peace knowing that he will be safe." A few tears fell.

Crono touched her back. "I will tell her. And I will tell him too."

She turned around. "Thank you, Crono. I know that this will not be the last time we meet."

"Well…" He laughed. "It depends on how you look at it. The next time we meet will be the first time for us."

"I knew the minute I met you that our lives were entwined somehow. Whatever fate will bring us at our next meeting, I know that the world will depend on it." She turned around. "Goodbye Crono. And thank you."

"Goodbye Schala." Crono waved to her as she disappeared beyond his sight. He crawled into bed, and tried to fall asleep before Magus and Lucca would get back.

****************************************************************

He finally was able to sit up. He wiped the tears off his face. "Lucca.."

She took his hand. "It's ok, Magus. You don't have to say anything."

He looked at her. "It's been so long, I almost forgot what it was like."

"I'm sorry. It shouldn't have been. I think… that of all the things that went wrong in your life, this was the only thing that almost couldn't be repaired."

"But you were here just in time." He squeezed her hand. "I don't know how to thank you."

"You have… you let go and you let me in."

He smiled slightly and pulled her close to him. "You held me. Now I want to hold you for a little while."

"I would like that.." She said, climbing up into his lap and wrapping her arms around him.

He held her close and rested his head on hers. They stayed like that for even longer, not speaking, just in bliss.

*********************************************************************

Author's note:

For all intensive purposes, this story is over. I hope that people like it and everything. I enjoyed writing it. I don't think I will continue it not because of lack of interest, but because the story ended where it should and I think that if I milked it, it might be worse…

"Runway Train" lyrics are credited to _Soul Assylum_


End file.
